Quasimodo Enthusiast T-Shirts

'We like the job you're doing, but were wondering if you could switch up the ringtones from time to time.'

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"I gotta cut you off, Pierre. That's your tenth 'pretend Manhattan' since you got here."

Mystery of the Poets

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Knights of the Square Table.

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

A spy peering round the corner.

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"Clinton spoke at my inauguration, and it's so cold outside-can he crash here for another week?"

Centaur becomes pantomime horse

That Pesky 'Why' Chromosome.

'Being the first to experiment with the latest technology has its drawbacks.'

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

"Something has to change....my life is turning into pure hell."

"I have gathered you all here tonight to finally reveal which one of you killed Professor Sturm!"

I like a good whodunit.

"What are we doing today?"

"I understand the graphics on your new video boxing game are very realistic."

Murder/Mystery

"CSI Tulsa"

Artists draw speed lines next to their car.