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Detective

"I'm sorry, Inspector Lestrade, but for reasons which I confess are sentimental, I feel I must, just this once, decline my services to Scotland Yard."

"We finally got the guy who's been hitting all these birdseed stores!"

"Who were you on the night of the 12th?"

"All the salmon has disappeared yet every door to the house was locked. Oh, it's a mystery all right."

"It's called The Pastry Shop Mystery. A real Whodoughnut."

"Superintendent, this seems to be the weapon used for the crime!"

The Alleged

Detective has tip jar on desk.

Private Eye

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

A spy peering round the corner.

"CSI Tulsa"

'I think McGuffin was the string.'

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

'I'd like to report a theft.'

Mystery of the Poets

Murder/Mystery

"Elementary, my dear Watson- the cartoonist did it."

"I have gathered you all here tonight to finally reveal which one of you killed Professor Sturm!"

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

The End is Nigh

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

Bribery and Corruption.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"It's a blood curdling novel about the brutal murder of a publisher who rejected a book about the brutal murder of a publisher..."