Quarterly Report Celebration Gifts

Abracadabra! We have growth!

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

"I hate performance review season."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"Who wants to hear a funny story about the third quarter?"

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"I suggest we start with the low hanging fruit."

Business is off the chart.

Soaring Profits

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

The Pencil and Sharpener

"It's swings and roundabouts – one goes up the other goes down."

"A great quarter always puts the old man in a jocular mood."

i am just celebrating my 25th anniversary at novox nursery

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'And right here they merged...'

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

Beware of the 4th quarter.

"At least we're consistent ... "

"And so if the pillage numbers don't improve this quarter, I have just one word for you: waterskis."

"Which way up do you want it?"