Quaint Collector Pillows

Letter Collecting Nerd

Avocadodo

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Southwark Fair.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Duck Hunt

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Barcode on Ancient Greek Vase

Thinks he's too cool for school.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

Early cyborg.

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Early Colour TV

The original paperless office

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Best before 65 million BC.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Ice shelfie.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.