Quackademic Achiever Gifts

"And with the amazing scores of 99.95, may I present Roger and Milly Mallard!"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'What's play?'

U of Debt

Exam

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

"Your MBA and PHD are impressive but what concerns me is your low number of Facebook friends."

His Master's Thesis.

Genius Envy

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

GCSEs

"I lettered in spelling."

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

Super Student

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

Examinations.

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'May I say it's a great pleasure to present my work to such a distinquished assembly of my colleagues.'

'Mutation and natural selection? - That sounds awfully STRESSFUL!'