Quack Quester T-Shirts

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Do me next."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

A Knight Arrives at a Boiling Lake Filled with Monsters (Don Quixote).

Inflatable Duck Boat

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'This duck call works too well.'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"It's an interdimensional portal that can facilitate travel across both space and time... but we mostly use it for storage."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

Time Travel Research Lab

"We seem to be at that point where particle physics leaves of and theology begins."

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

'Scientists claim they have found the 'God Particle'. In a related story, they are still looking for the 'Job Creator Particle'.'

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

"Dark energy's hard to detect because it's made from happiness."

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

'He's close -- he's developed a unified field theory for everything except anchovies.'

Higgs Boson particles at a training session: "Geneva is a no-fly zone."

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

'I became a theoretical physicist because my poor hand-eye coordination precluded me from doing experiments...'

"Hello! - Have you ever thought about changing your energy supplier..?"