Quack Hunter T-Shirts

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'This duck call works too well.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Rocks The Vote

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

'What I'm really looking for is a kamikaze volunteer.'

'Hang on! A good looking she-duck alone on lake doesn't seem right to me: It must be a decoy...'

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

New-Age junk diet.

'Call me crazy, Earl, but I get the feeling those ducks were expecting us!'

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

"Please don't call me names because you're feeling down in the mouth."

Duck protest march

Dead ducks

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'

'Yes, I can give you lipo-suction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically, way deep down and underneath it all, you're really a duck.'

'And when you're flying South...avoid Peking.'

Geese

'OK, that was funny, but before you quack like me again, be aware that the Duck Season is open...'

Testing the first doc call.

'Son, I think it's time we had 'The Quack'.'