Quack Hunter T-Shirts

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'This duck call works too well.'

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

'What I'm really looking for is a kamikaze volunteer.'

'Hang on! A good looking she-duck alone on lake doesn't seem right to me: It must be a decoy...'

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

New-Age junk diet.

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

'Call me crazy, Earl, but I get the feeling those ducks were expecting us!'

Duck protest march

Dead ducks

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'

'Yes, I can give you lipo-suction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically, way deep down and underneath it all, you're really a duck.'

'OK, that was funny, but before you quack like me again, be aware that the Duck Season is open...'

Geese

'And when you're flying South...avoid Peking.'

Testing the first doc call.

'Son, I think it's time we had 'The Quack'.'

"You called?"