Quack Hunter Extraordinaire T-Shirts

'Here they come, Ben, look alive now!'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

'This duck call works too well.'

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"I'm trying to hide Easter Eggs, and he thinks we're playing fetch."

'Sure, long waits don't bother you. You've served time.'

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

Tough Butterfly

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Rocks The Vote

"It's okay, I'm actually just a flamboyantly-costumed osteopath."

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

Fancy portrait of the gentleman who killed the greatest number of small birds. [To be hung up in all sparrow clubs]

Hunting

'I think we found one of those much-used turkey roosting sites.'

Ed's 1 second acupuncture treatment (man holding porcupine).

New-Age junk diet.

'Call me crazy, Earl, but I get the feeling those ducks were expecting us!'

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

Duck protest march

"Please don't call me names because you're feeling down in the mouth."

Dead ducks

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'

'Yes, I can give you lipo-suction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically, way deep down and underneath it all, you're really a duck.'

Geese

'I still think he's saying the sky is falling just to sell life insurance.'

'OK, that was funny, but before you quack like me again, be aware that the Duck Season is open...'

Testing the first doc call.