Quack Cure Embracer T-Shirts

'By the way, Mr. Tongs, I have used that bottle of Balm of California, but I find my hair still comes off.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Inflatable Duck Boat

'This duck call works too well.'

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"Trepanning for gold"

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

Anxiety of Change

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

Veterinary Clinic. No, it's not a "wading" room.

'Of course things change: our fathers were replaced by machines - we'll be replaced with new software.'

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

"Betty, we're paying through the nose for that plastic surgery! Just look at that visa and discovery bill!"

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Rocks The Vote

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

"Over here, Phyllis. I've moved to the center."

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

'Call me crazy, Earl, but I get the feeling those ducks were expecting us!'

"Please don't call me names because you're feeling down in the mouth."

Dead ducks

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'