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'By the way, Mr. Tongs, I have used that bottle of Balm of California, but I find my hair still comes off.'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"Elementary, my dear Quackson."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'This duck call works too well.'

After many years of wavering Dennis finally makes the decision to step out of his comfort zone.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

Anxiety of Change

"But Herman, we can't just throw in the towel like that."

"Trepanning for gold"

Fred questions whether Dr. McWit's Quick Draw Stress Tests are AMA approved.

'Well you certainly walk like a duck and quack like a duck.'

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

'Of course things change: our fathers were replaced by machines - we'll be replaced with new software.'

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

'Tell me. How many acupuncture treatments did doctor Wing give you?'

"I haven't slept well since you pointed out that these modeling sessions are a form of betrayal."

"Over here, Phyllis. I've moved to the center."

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

'If you can't get a doctor, dear, at least try to marry a quack.'

"She's been seeing a very good grief counselor."

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

'i thought I'd held him get rid of his chronic depression . . .'

'Call me crazy, Earl, but I get the feeling those ducks were expecting us!'

Dead ducks

Doctor to nurse about duck: 'Walks like a duck, looks like a duck, but I need some more quacking tests first.'

'Yes, I can give you lipo-suction and a face-lift, Mrs Gribbs, but I must warn you that it won't change the fact that basically, way deep down and underneath it all, you're really a duck.'