Purveyor Of Purrs Gifts

'We don't own a shredder. We just hang sensitive material on the furniture and let the cat take care of it.'

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

Cat Reunion

"Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Shelter Cat Nap

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"Thanks for this. But if you miss us, you can just purr."

"Glendora Hagan got in another load of cats, Elinor honey. Can you take a couple?"

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

Living with a cataholic.

The New Yorker Book of Cartoons that No One Can Understand

"Don't you just love that new cat smell?"

"I'm sorry I really can't take you seriously."

"You're God-knows-where all day long, then at night you pounce on my head... this is not a relationship."

Cat Burglar.

Files.

"And you wonder why they call me a bitch?"

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

Re-home Sweet Home

"You resume states, 'My only good quality is I purr'. Could you go into that a little more?"

'You think you can purr your way out of anything, don't you?'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

'Sometimes I think I spoil you Tiddles!'

"Love you!"

Hybrid Cat Breeds

"Neither party seems to be talking about cats."

'You never knew your father - he got stuck in a tree somewhere.'

"It's a great property: the highlights are three cat-flaps, two litter trays, two scratch poles and of course, no bath..."

Cat DNA is decoded.

"Hold still! It says here understanding body language is key to knowing your cat."