Purrfectionists Pillows

'That cat is ruining our sex life-I never know if it's you or the cat who's purring with satisfaction.'

'Here's a new cure for my cat allergies. Divorce.'

"Oh, she really likes you!"

cat

Do I a-mews-you?

Police Feline Unit

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

You're arrogant, aloof and spoiled...but I mean that in the nicest way.

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

Surreal ale

Cat Zoom Meeting

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."

Perfection

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

Cat Lover's Leap.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"You're welcome."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

Quality Contorl.

Probability - if you have 5 cats, 4 will be asleep.

Social lens of the photojournalist

"You'll come? Great." "The Hendersons will be too." "We'll kill them at poker." "Phil and Edna, planning a murder for later that night."

Ventriloquist's fete

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"Have you made any retirement plans?"

Certificate for 98.4% accurasy.

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a multiple cat home!"

'Now I really am sick.'

Nancy had written more pages, but Andrew had stacked his more neatly.

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."