Puppy Wisdom Sharer Gifts

'Trust me kid: You never really know if you have a good master until you stop being cute...'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

So doctor, what you're saying is that all the time I thought she was a crazy cat lady, it was me who had mental health issues...

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

'No, I said 'sit'.'

Man with sticker on back reading 'Wife's point of view on board'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

What they're thinking.

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

"Out! Damned Spot!"

'Does my tail make me look fat?'

"Talking's ok but to me walking on your hind legs is simply taking anthropomorphism a bit too far."

"I never really needed obedience school, … It was more of an obedience seminar."

"Trust me, catching it isn't that satisfying."

...or how about this gorgeous little puppy ma'am? He's a Labrador Collie cross.

The Dog Botherer.

"They're free, but they ain't easy."

Man and dog.

'It's a wonderful new drug...a sort of injectable garlic.'

'Patience, consistency and treats are really great training tools...and they work well with dogs, too.'

Books for dogs dealing with life issues.

You read the instructions upside down.

"Hey, we're working our asses off here!"

"Stop worrying if you're a good dog or a bad dog. Just be the best dog you can be."

"Forgetting names is not a big issue for me: It's a bigger problem that I can no longer remember where I've hidden my food stashes..."

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat whenever I lay real still.'