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"It get it – you're hungry."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Love.

"I need to go home now! I'm all out of pee!"

The first dog in space - with his head hanging out the window

Pets on holiday.

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"In case you hadn't noticed, this is a multiple cat home!"

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

"Aw, he's really attached to you."

'I'm taking the leftovers home, so suggest something my dog will enjoy.'

The perfect relationship

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

"But the best thing about getting neutered, Gus, is that I'm finally able to focus on my novel-in-progress without any distractions!"

'A walk is supposed to be fun. If it's not, you aren't doing it right.'

"He's a real dog person."

"For their holidays, they always book pet-friendly accommodation: I'm never left behind..."

I'm interviewing for a new walker.

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

Barking Today - 'I always bark for no reason whatever.'

'No problem...'

"Sorry, I have a strict cash only policy."

'So far, I've lost three pounds on the Ratkins Diet!'

"Do those shoes taste funny to you?"

'So you're a cat person...'

'How thoughtful - he even got the dog a present.'

"So do you think he smells other dogs out there or hears them?"

"Jeez, Charlie. . . as if the cone isn't humiliating enough!"

'You poor dumb animal, all you know is eat and sleep.'

"This is all very romantic, but I'm not in heat."

Best Man's best friend.