Puppy Trickster Pillows

'The young pup not only knows new tricks, he'll do them at a third of your salary."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I didn't know she could body surf. Did you know she could body surf?"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

While at the Zoo, Victoria gets an idea.

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

A voodoo doctor.

"Do you handle employee salary negotiations as well?"

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

Polly tries reverse psychology

'Watch out for a very angry witch with a scythe.'

I can't believe school's starting back up, Ernie! Yeah. What happened to summer?!!! Well, Frank we played baseball, swam in the lake, visited cousins, picnicked in the park, drank lemonade, rode bikes, went to camp, played video games, ate s'mores, learned magic tricks, caught fireflies, hiked long trails, gazed at stars, made ice cream, rode rides at the fair, built sand castles, read scary books, camped in the yard, watched fireworks, ran races, flew kites, grew vegetables, did chores, wate

'There are no search results for Pomeranian on the Foodnetwork.'

"Not until you fetch the other one."

Go on! Pick a card.

"Oh dear, how embarrassing!"

Mime Tug-of-War

"You call that a KISS?"

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

Cookie Thief