Puppy Tricks Pillows

"It's his only trick, but I think you'd agree. . . it's a bloody good one!"

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Are there treats? Just grab the treats and get outta there!"

'What's amazing is that I only threw one stick.'

"What other tricks does he need?"

"She's all over YouTube."

We're halfway through teaching her to roll over.

The Goalkeeper

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

'Isn't it cute how Roscoe dances around when I come home?'

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"Honey, the dog learned a new trick. And now I owe him twelve dollars."

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"I'll roll over but I refuse to play dead."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

"Not until you fetch the other one."

'Hey Holly, Watch! Biscuit can catch a ginger snap in mid-air!!'

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

Cruel Pet Tricks

'Out of the blue, my Master is now obsessed with having me sit, shake hands and rollover...'

Cookie Thief

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"That's impressive, but I asked you to roll over."

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates