Puppy Persuader Pillows

What they're thinking.

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"Alright then,stay there- I WILL be obeyed!"

Canine Companion

Walking the dog - 'surprise'!

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"Another slander suit!"

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

"And always remember...If you're going to be sick, always do it on the carpet. It's more absorbent."

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

"In obedience school, I was voted 'Most likely to chew a slipper'."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"The dog is developing quicker than me."

'Okay, let's try it one more time...slippers...slippers....'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

He Did It!

I'm just a pollster, ma'am - I have no idea which candidate is a cat person.

'Okay, okay. On second thought, maybe going on a diet isn't necessary.'

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

Cookie Thief

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

'Does my tail make me look fat?'

"It was humiliating! First, he told me to beg and then he wanted me to roll over and pretend I was dead...so, I bit him!"

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"You destination is around the next curve."

"How's tricks?"

"Forget your 'inner puppy' - fetch!"

Hang Time Fido

"Out! Damned Spot!"

"Yes, I'm talking to you. I believe you're the only Sparky in the house."