Puppy Humorist Pillows

'People think puppy love is so cute. But you never hear a word about puppy divorce.'

'I'm for any extreme makeover that doesn't include the word FIX.'

"Doggie treats are just another way for humans to control us and steal our freedom."

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'Jurassic Pork.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Hats and Food

"Yes, one is a dog."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Scuba cow"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

Cats at private view

Dogs life

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"