Puppy Humor Lover Pillows

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Jr. cloning kit

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Dog on a Shelf.

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

Puppies

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

The Karate Kitten.

A Midwestern Disaster Film.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

'Oh there you are...you naughty girl! What have you been up to this time?'

"She's a golden retriever...I've always had a thing for blondes!"