Puppy Humor Lover Gifts

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Jr. cloning kit

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

Excuse me.. Are you Dog Friendly?

Dog on a Shelf.

Grinning dog points at missing cat poster with glee

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Pet Entertainers

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

The First Cone of Shame.

A Dog's Food Pyramid.

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

'If you must know, yes, I do sometimes fake purring.'

'Sure, he acts like he's into you now, but, trust me...he's only interested in one thing.'

'The last guy I worked for kept me on a short leash.'

'Don't worry, my baser instincts are in a surgical waste bin in Hoboken.'

Puppies

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

'I'll bet you taught him that!'

Doggy conductor

Vet to owner about dog with bird at chest: 'I suspect heartworm.'

"Oo, I get to write a memo! I'm excited! I'm excited!"

The Karate Kitten.

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

'Smart? This dog can bark in five different languages!'

A Midwestern Disaster Film.

Dog Calenders.