Puppy Birth Gifts

'Perhaps you'd like to explain this,'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Einstein, the children are getting too complex for me.'

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"No no, I said sit!!"

My First Camera

Baby Piano

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

A midwife holding a baby

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"That's not how I sat on you."

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

Love a Mutt

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

Children's artwork exhibition.