Puppy Acquisition Gifts

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Pick me!"

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

'Super Dog'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

Dogs

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

No littering...

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

'I'll take him.'

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

Cats on the couch.

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'

"Boy, I'd love to meet you sometime off leash."

"O.K., O.K., here's 'Lassie, Come Home' again! Now are you happy?"

Dog on balconey in city sniffing tree in pot

'By god that man stinks!'

'Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy! Mummy Mummy, I want a puppy!'

To them it's just a Prada handbag

'Now cut that out!'