Puppy Acquisition T-Shirts

"House training's not so bad - you soon get used to it and, if you play your cards right, you'll get lots of treats."

Bitchbark Canoe

"Pick me!"

Dog Hunting Trophies.

Now, let's not be hasty! They may look the same, but we are both duty bound to fetch our own master's ball...

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Super Dog'

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'Don't be embarrassed by your anti-barking collar, implanted tracking chip, and GPS device. Just think of them as fashion accessories.'

No littering...

Dogs

"Garbage in, garbage out!"

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'Fragile little dogs are not supposed to enjoy walks in such weather.'

"You can't plead cute."

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Cats on the couch.

"But this time, Lucky, when I throw the ball... you bring it back!"

Sunday P.M. July 15, 1990 in the Watternods' Living Room with the Watternods' Dog and Mr. Wu Lung's Cat from Next Door

'I'll take him.'

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

Dog on balconey in city sniffing tree in pot

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

To them it's just a Prada handbag

"O.K., O.K., here's 'Lassie, Come Home' again! Now are you happy?"

"Boy, I'd love to meet you sometime off leash."

'Now cut that out!'

'Mom! -- Spot's skinny-dipping again!'

'Don't make such a fuss woman, he's only a puppy!'