Puppet Humorist T-Shirts

'Now, remember, when we get in there, let me do all the talking.'

A Puppet Named Juan

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Leslie Caron.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'He does.'

"And now, for your entertainment, I will drink a glass of water while Rempert, here, remains eerily silent."

Hats and Food

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

"Scuba cow"

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Personally, I was hoping for more from the intermediary process.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

Cats at private view

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"