Puns Lover Pillows

'You say you're having trouble seeing the future.'

'Honey, you still look like a 10 to me...'

'No. . . this isn't the fiscal cliff.'

"You have a divine right - and the left isn't bad either."

Freebies.

'Is it high fibre? Are you kidding me? Of course it's high fibre...Eat the stick!'

Caterpilsner

Full System Scan

bitter lemon...

"If we paid test cricketers by the day... you'd never have a game finishing early."

'Frankly, I expected more musketry.'

"Good news—the economy is still sluggish!"

Frank, you had to get a second job? I should have read the fine print on that investment that guaranteed I'd "clean up"!

Look at that ceiling! It's great! A classic ceiling --- I love it! Ceiling fans.

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"'Goodbye cruel world'? Really Smithers?! That's the best you can do??!!"

"Merry Christmas"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Staff support"

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Copycats

Zombie standup

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Talk nerdy to me."

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'