Punny Professional Pillows

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

'Bailiff, tell maintenance that I need my bench raised again.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'Sometimes, from time to time, occasionally I wish I'd never bought that ruddy thesaurus!'

Happy Hog - Manet

"YAY! FREE SHIPPING!"

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

"He may be the principal, but he's a terrible speller."

'I'd never bite the hand that feeds me - but I won't pull its finger, either.'

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

"Oh, do stick it adjectively adverbially where the 'effin' sun don't shine!"

SCUBER

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

Professional Cell Phone Accessories

Who's Not Who.

'I'm the veterinarian of Cheshire who spays and neuters Cheshire pets.'

Blake's Sealant.

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

'I need 1000 bucks to tide me over until my ship comes in!'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

'Do you like Indian food?' 'I have my reservations!'

Fish in gaol.

"How interesting, Mr Spladgeforth, we don't often see the Eiffel Tower made out of sausages!"

Picking Brains

Fly Fishing.