Punny Publisher Pillows

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

"Why have you called him ballpoint?"

'I was fixin' to fill you full o' lead, Clanton, but it looks like that there stalactite done the job for me!'

Happy Hog - Manet

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

Who's Not Who.

'I'm going to need a Margin of Error or I can't publish your prediction of 6 more weeks of winter.'

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

"I got an order of boneless ribs, an order of jumbo shrimp, and an order of hot chili with three ice waters. What is this, the oxymoron table?"

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

School

Short-Term Memory Foam Loss

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

Weight and Fortune.

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

"I'd like to let you go, Willy, but this is your third offense."

'Do you like Indian food?' 'I have my reservations!'

Fish in gaol.

"How interesting, Mr Spladgeforth, we don't often see the Eiffel Tower made out of sausages!"

'Bailiff, tell maintenance that I need my bench raised again.'

"Well, well! Looks like someone's not a happy camper! Get it? Happy camper? We're camping? Happy...cam...ahem..."

Picking Brains