Punny Publisher Pillows

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'You can't reject my manuscript without due process!'

"Why have you called him ballpoint?"

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

Happy Hog - Manet

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"Your manuscript is utter trash, of course. How does a half-million first printing sound to you?"

Who's Not Who.

'Smooth move -- Now we're in REAL trouble!'

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

'I'm going to need a Margin of Error or I can't publish your prediction of 6 more weeks of winter.'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"I got an order of boneless ribs, an order of jumbo shrimp, and an order of hot chili with three ice waters. What is this, the oxymoron table?"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

"I'd like to let you go, Willy, but this is your third offense."

Weight and Fortune.

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

Short-Term Memory Foam Loss

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

School

'Do you like Indian food?' 'I have my reservations!'

Fish in gaol.

"How interesting, Mr Spladgeforth, we don't often see the Eiffel Tower made out of sausages!"

'Bailiff, tell maintenance that I need my bench raised again.'

Picking Brains