Punny Reporter Pillows

'I'm going to need a Margin of Error or I can't publish your prediction of 6 more weeks of winter.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Why have you called him ballpoint?"

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

"...then - and here's the funny part - I add the potassium sulfate..."

"Waiter! - will my pizza be long?"

"Honey, I just got 't-boned' off I-80 West of Omaha!"

Noise Pollution

'So, Harkness, I see that you have a very checkered background!'

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

"I got an order of boneless ribs, an order of jumbo shrimp, and an order of hot chili with three ice waters. What is this, the oxymoron table?"

'I think I just invented 'Rock 'n Roll'.'

'Look, you still owe us 17 cents.. if you sweep up my office we'll call it even.'

'That large, rolled up newspaper is a reminder - mess up this office, and you'll pay the price.'

'Inner-city kids in search of a butter life.'

Crime A-L

Picking Brains

'Bailiff, tell maintenance that I need my bench raised again.'

'Nothing from the Nobel Committee or the National Endowment for the Arts, but you have a tentative offer from Burma-Shave.

In hindsight, Giovanni realised that it was probably a bad idea hiring a builder with a short leg!

"Deadly gas is escaping from Uranus!"

"Hey you...want a bunuelo?"

'I'm seriously thinking of firing you as my lawyer.'

50 shades of brown.