Punctuation Minimalist Gifts

Punctuation Police

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

(Camel paintings)

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Dating an English Major

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"We needn't have a fancy home, just a place to rest when we no longer roam."

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"I've just invented the question mark."

'At least I never have to straighten it out.'

Ironing Punctuation

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Typewriters and Laptops.

Job Interview Gone Bad.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

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