Punctuation Detective Gifts

I'm good at reading people. Especially when they have punctuation marks over their heads.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Dating an English Major

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"I've just invented the question mark."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

Ironing Punctuation

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'You've spelt 'C.V.' wrongly.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Punctuation Karaoke Night

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

Author Reading Today: 'Typos I missed when correcting proofs.'