Grammar Detective Gifts

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

"And wot 'ave we 'ere, guv'nor?"

"Look, look … someone wrote unoperable."

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

I will study my speling words...

A Copy Editor and His Dog

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Punctuation Police

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Someone who knows apostrophes

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

'The Questioner'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Lessons in Prehistory.

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

Desert $2.75. See? -- It wasn't a typo.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"Nuts to you, too."

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.