Grammar Geek Gifts

Ancient Grammar Police: 'Oh, for cryin' out loud...you never end a sentence with a . . .'

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"We saved your life. However, your colon is now a semicolon"

My Husband Doesn't Have A Clue

Grammarian.

Someone who knows apostrophes

In HR office: 'Yes, I'm very punctual. I always use commas and periods.'

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

'I don't want to burst any bubbles, but I'm guessing it's a typo.'

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

"Damn-you're right. It is 'I' before 'E'."

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'Are you sure brook is misspelled'

"One of the failed candidates for the copywriters job wants to know 'wart was rong with his applicashun?'"

"Just ignore the bad spelling. You'll get us all accused of discriminating against people with learning disabilities."

What Editors Do

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

Man reading referendum sheet asking what the spelling of the plural of referendum should be

"My mom is an English teacher and she says Santa's elves are subordinate clauses."

The Adventures of Grammar Man

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

'The operation was a success, but your colon is now a semi-colon.'

'Apparently, double negatives are okay in math but not in English.'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"According to this poll, when asked if there was sufficient English as a Second Language instruction in their school district, 35 percent of ESL students said 'yes', and 65 percent didn't understand the question."

PS 143, 'Apparently, double negatives are okay in math but not in English.'

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

"Please don't leave me...I'm lost without you!"

'Psssst! Pronoun?' (Man selling pronouns like a drug dealer.)

"I've just invented the question mark."

"I have two mommies. I know where the apostrophe goes."

'I was an amateur 'wordsmith'. Then I turned semi-pronoun.'

'Without the comma, colons and semi-colons would rise up to oppress us.'

"Well, put it this way - A semi-colon is better than a full stop."

'That's the new Headmaster - he has a knack for communicating with the kids.'