Punctilious Perfectionist Pillows

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

Bullseye!

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

Dating an English Major

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Surreal ale

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

Ironing Punctuation

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'I told you, you were missing a decimal point.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Man looking at watch while a cuckoo comes out of his head

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'Am I the first one here?'

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

"Why not pay someone to clean out the gutters?" "Total waste of good beer money." And just like that, Gail became a widow.

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."