Punch Aficionado Pillows

'I'm making a fortune. I tell everyone the punch is full of antioxidants.'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Satya Nutella

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"1-1"

Bangers and Mash

Motorherd

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'I think I have found Mr. Right.'

Benjamin Franklin 'If I only knew,'

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

DUNVOTIN

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

'I said 'Shall I put the cat out?''

Cat Scan

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

No jay walking.

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

Litterary Dogs.

Mexican Jumping Balls.

"And what else do you think you can bring to the role of Edmund, Earl of Gloucester?"

Better Not Squash.

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."