Punch Aficionado Pillows

'I'm making a fortune. I tell everyone the punch is full of antioxidants.'

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"1-1"

Bangers and Mash

Motorherd

DUNVOTIN

Benjamin Franklin 'If I only knew,'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Cat Scan

No jay walking.

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

You've been sitting on molehills again, haven't you?

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Mexican Jumping Balls.

Litterary Dogs.

"What a coincidence, that's my name, too!"

'Ouwth! Bid my tong!'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Better Not Squash.

'Excuse me, I ordered Matzo Ball soup.'

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '