Punch Enthusiasts Pillows

'Perhaps it'll stop them all hitting each other'.

'Never heard that before.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

baby sweetcorn...

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Sailor in Car.

"Puss in cement boots"

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

A Club Sandwitch.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Tequila Mockingbird

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Shell Fire

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

Plum jam...

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

Aw, geez, is my fly down again? Why Superman started wearing his underwear over his pants.

"So, what are you reading?"

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

Shakespeare Quote

'They call me Portugese Man of War, but I'm really just a jellyfish of love.'

The best goalie in the world!

"Caption contest"

Yakety-Yak

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."

"Hair spray"