Punch And Judy Enthusiasts Pillows

"This is the way to f**cking do it."

"Talk nerdy to me."

baby sweetcorn...

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'I don't like heights...maybe that's why I've had so many low points in my life.'

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Sailor in Car.

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Puss in cement boots"

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

A Club Sandwitch.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Personally, I'd like to hire you, Mike, but the company has some serious concerns about your core competencies!"

Tequila Mockingbird

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

Plum jam...

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

Shell Fire

"So, what are you reading?"

"My guess it's guacamole."

"Well, my dog cleans himself that way!"

'Yes I'm sure we can find an opening for you, Mr Smith!'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

Shakespeare Quote

"Caption contest"

Yakety-Yak

"Okay, quote me. I'm on the record."