Pun-loving Traveler Gifts

Travel Agents

Carefree luggage.

The Vineyard

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

Do it yourself books.

Camping holidays in the British summer.

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"That reminds me. . . did you remember to pack the viagra?"

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'We have a clerical special to St Croix amd St Thomas...'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

Passengers arriving on luggage conveyor belt

"All the other passengers have collected and gone so well just have to admit they're ours!"

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Stonehenge Imitation

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

"The whole thing's much smaller than it seemed on TV."

'You have the right to refuse the body scanner, but then I'll have to pat you down.'

The static electric eel is very rare.

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'