Pun-loving Sports Fans Gifts

Lots of sports officials waiting in the eye doctor's waiting room.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

The best goalie in the world!

'Here we go again...'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

"Hey! What did I tell you about drinking right out of your super bowl, young man?"

"Cricket...six minutes of excitement crammed into six hours!"

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool!"

"Oh, come on ref. How can you not see that?!"

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

'The Ref gave out 4 yellow cards, 2 reds and 7 Valentine cards.'

Table Tennis ball-boys

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

Egads. I've forgotten what the rule is about a runner throwing a leg to base ahead of himself.

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

Modern Football

False starts.

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'Time is running out - shoot! Everyone is starting to keel over and die!!'

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

Sports update: Some teams won and some teams lost.

"Then I said, let's stay with Santa's sleigh, but nooo ... you wanted to see a Rangers game!"

'Promise me. Never again. Don't ever get sheared right before a fight.'

'No doubt about it... serves are MUCH faster these days!'

FIFA scandal

Whack the author.

'CSI: Basketball.'