Pun-loving Creator Gifts

Do it yourself books.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

"I didn't say I started jogging, I said blogging."

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

"You're a gifted writer, although at times you're just too precious."

'I can't help you, it seems you really are npsycuts!'

'I wanted to go straight. . . but then I learned a law degree.'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

'I use that to check for combovers.'

Man in the stocks on his typewriter.

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

"You may be more familiar with her maiden name, Kelly, Grace Kelly."

Cat punishement.

'You precisely said 'straight over at the roundabout'. You didn't say anything about going around it.'

'You can ruin the present worrying about how the past will affect the future.'

'Oh, I don't paint -- I'm a make-out artist!'

'You want to see a lawyer? No problem — he's a lawyer.'

Bank manager standing in front of safe has combination written on his hand

"It's called 'Unfinished Nude'."

'Do you think he'll win the second race?' - 'Yes, because he's running in the first race.'

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'

Hamster Cello tape.

Next cartoon - 5 minutes...

'Friday morning is no good for me- I'll be settling someone's hash!'

'I like it!'

'If you commit a crime when you're slow as molasses & leave a trail of slime you're going to do some time.'

"I guess the cat is broken because we have to get him fixed."