Pumpkineer Gifts

'Of course, there would've been no coach if some little rabbit had done his job when the pumpkin was a tender sprout.'

Prize vegetables.

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Sam's Gym. My problem is I can't get the body I want with the body I've got!

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

How was the Halloween party? Who was there? It was fun, except the Zombie didn't talk to anybody. The Grim Reaper was a real killjoy, and the jack-o-lantern made a fool of himself -- by the end of the evening he was smashed. Did the Black Cat or the Ghost attend? I crossed paths with a black cat but I don't know if the Ghost came to the party. All night it felt like he was right there but I never actually saw him!

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

Important Muscles.

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'Every pacemaker recipient is required to carry jumper cables...'

Bowling ball head.

The Hockey Puckey

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

Olympic Jar Opening Event

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

"Make it look like an accident"

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

The Mosquito bite left an unsightly bump on Tom's body.

Gym workout.

Big Business

'Under this blubber, pal, there are abs and muscle you wouldn't believe!'

'I think it's time for you to start on your cooling-down exercises.'

A person is trying to open a hotdog jar at the gym.

His Other Shtick

"I guess now would be as good a time as any to talk about balance."