Pumpkineer T-Shirts

'Of course, there would've been no coach if some little rabbit had done his job when the pumpkin was a tender sprout.'

Prize vegetables.

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Man mourns the loss of his king after being checkmated.

'C'mon, c'mon! I want to be the first one on the stair-climbing machine!'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

Important Muscles.

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

Bowling ball head.

"Make it look like an accident"

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

Olympic Jar Opening Event

Library: The Weight lifting Section.

'Good grief! You'd think in this day and age they'd have found a way to make these things lighter.'

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

The Mosquito bite left an unsightly bump on Tom's body.

His Other Shtick

'Under this blubber, pal, there are abs and muscle you wouldn't believe!'

Big Business

Gym workout.

A person is trying to open a hotdog jar at the gym.

'I think it's time for you to start on your cooling-down exercises.'

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."