Pupper Pamperer T-Shirts

Dog to other: 'I think I'm becoming quite addicted to pats on the head.'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

Upper East Side Dog Park

'I'm sorry about the slippers...but I do need the roghage.'

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"That's just not the real me."

"He wants a second opinion."

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

'You tell me how he does it.'

'Ears up - wag that tail - soulful expression - he is YOURS!'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Dog Chow Mein

'Thank you for noticing, Shirley - but beauty comes at a price, It hampers my hunting, limits my berry picking and typing's a real pain,'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'