Pumpkin Whisperer T-Shirts

'Of course she's had work done. Look at the scar.'

The Ekert Saga: '...We need to trick the evil fahces into thinkin' the treat of the Ekert isn't a threat anymah...by makin' them think they've already found him...'

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Gardener

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Get out of my face!"

Raining

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Garden of Live Flowers.

Where Deviled Eggs come from

Husband bakes a pie

'Superstock'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

"Hold on. If we're free range, I don't think we should be crossing a toll road."

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"It's a destination wedding invitation. We have to cross the road."

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

"No, that was my twin brother. I was too chicken to cross the road."

"It was a botched surgery."

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"I'm making your favorite dessert, dear … seven layer cake."

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

"Don’t worry, girl. I’m working on our ‘no puppy left behind.’"

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

"He's cooing on the ledge. May I take a message?"

Scientists have found proof that the mighty T-rex is related to the humble chicken.

Industrial Beautification van

'I'll take back 'Rotten Egg' if you'll apologize for 'Dumb Cluck'.'

"Stop son, council regulations state that we're not allowed to crow in urban areas..."