Potato Whisperer T-Shirts

"Good Lord! The Fryolator! We’re too late, Sarge!"

The Busy Gardener

"Foster failure"

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Plant Lady

Allotment

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

Hush puppy.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

An old man growing berries

"I'm losing my patience with you."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Botany Baby!

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'