Potato Whisperer T-Shirts

"Good Lord! The Fryolator! We’re too late, Sarge!"

The Busy Gardener

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Foster failure"

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Allotment

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

Plant Lady

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

An Unexpected Guest.

"The cat told me to eat your homework."

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

Hush puppy.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

An old man growing berries

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

Botany Baby!

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Obedience School/Disobedience School.