Pump Pain Perceiver T-Shirts

'Pain at the pump; is really painful....even when not at the pump!'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Snake in the grass...

'Special Delivery!'

Oil man gets oil for his car directly from oil well.

"I fancy tall men."

'Actually, the pain is just nature's way of keeping you humble.'

"Well, I'd say it should be fairly soon now!"

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

"How may I hurt you?"

'But toothache is the worst!'

'The Novocain seems to have kicked in,'

Fly Eye Chart

NO Vacancy: "Damn thing hasn't stopped flashing since I booked in!"

Boss, I need to go home, I have an awful toothache. I can't focus. I can't concentrate. It's like someone's stabbing me in the face with a Samurai sword. Oh, that's not that bad. Let me know when it feels more like a Ninja sword. I'm not sure there's a difference. Apparently you can focus just fine.

"A birdbath, eh? -- you some kinda voyeur?"

'That peak has such a look of defiance.'

Rate your pain...

'This is going to be a level three.'

'Same time next week then?'

'If I strike a nerve, just blink your left eye, there's a good chap.'

'The menu's in French with no prices and he orders the wine. Let's see how he handles pressure.'

"... and now read the fourth line, please."

Tooth ache.

'hey man, this is good sht'

'Does it hurt when I do this?'

Laying on a bed of needles.

"We do this kind of thing so well."

Dog startled by string breaking on a guitar

"Oh. Sorry for yelling. I thought you were much farther away."

The only man who can see.

"And from now on, Mrs. Chamberlain, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me Skeeter. Try to call me Marvin."