Publishing Phenom Gifts

"Dumb it up."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Meet the author"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

First Novels.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Gay Times...

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Letters escape from a caged book.

Now showing, at a University near you...

Sue the Author 3PM

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."