Publishing Assistant Gifts

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

First Novels.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Gay Times...

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Good Luck!

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

Shake it all about sign on desk

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."