Publishing Assistant Gifts

'We believe this would work better as a tweet.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

In basket-case.

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Squeezing the Free Press.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

First Novels.

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Gay Times...

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Good Luck!

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

Shake it all about sign on desk

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"