Publishing A Thesis Gifts

"I totally meant to do that."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

First Novels.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"Meet the author"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Gay Times...

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Now showing, at a University near you...

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

Isabel Allende

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."