Academic Publication Gifts

'My paper has been published by a scientific journal.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Eternal Student.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Pretty Flowers

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

First Novels.

"Is it that bad?"

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the scribe"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'