Publishing A Paper Gifts

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"The Wi-Fi password is publish 'publish or perish'."

Now showing, at a University near you...

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

First Novels.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Meet the author"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

Gay Times...

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."