Public Tv Presenter Pillows

'Your new identity will be of a public TV fundraiser.. nobody pays any attention to them.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Campaign for Plain English

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

Changing Minds

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

Vanna White: The Later Years.

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Reporter #6: television.

Next camera crew 5 mins

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

Presenter Auditions.

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'We outsource our grape juice, marketing, bottling and distribution, and yet he's supposed to give a speech tonight on winemaking - bosses,outsources,outbetter show him what a grape looks like.'

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Jerry Springer of biblical times.

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Television guests' essentials in November.

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

Stephen Fry.

The great Tea Bag Scam!

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.